Doubt: Accepting it and Overcoming it

I have periods of overwhelming doubt:

Nothing seems to be going right, everything I planned is not working out.

Right now, I am starting a t shirt business and figuring out what I can do as a “digital nomad.” I’ve spent several hundred dollars getting the business off the ground and am doubting my vision. Is this a stupid idea? Do I have a head for business? I’ve been wracking my brain to figure out how to have a job where I can work from my laptop with no success. Sure, I can write and edit well, but is AI making me obsolete? How do I attract clients when there are tens of thousands of qualified people trying to do the same thing? Doubt; sometimes overwhelming. The doubt was bad a couple of days ago but I am working though it. One of the positives about getting older is understanding that emotional states eventually pass. Maybe my first t-shirt designs weren’t workable but yesterday I had a couple of promising ideas. Doubt is normal, doubt is healthy. We live in a time of uncertainty. Lots of us are struggling to keep a roof over our heads, food in the fridge, and pay the bills—it would be weird if we didn’t feel doubt. I put these blogs and related vlogs out every Wednesday and only get a handful of views. Can I draw in more people? With all the blogs and video channels out there how do I stand out? Doubt. One way I work through doubt is reminding myself of an immense challenge I faced and overcame: Learning to live out of a van. If you read my book No Signal you will see that during the first weeks I had a lot of doubt…but I prevailed. Look to your past, bring up the memory of a big challenge you met—it could landing your dream job or raising a child or battling cancer. Surely you felt doubt meeting those challenges, but in the end you succeeded. When you are building a brand as I am, you are supposed to present a facade of confidence, of growing success: I’m a winner. You should listen to me because I am super awesome and my life is full of….winning. I feel obligated to be upbeat every Wednesday despite whatever doubt I feel and, believe me, I feel a lot sometimes. Part of me wants to be “real” and share that side with you but a larger part is concerned that will turn people away and make my objectives that much harder to achieve. More doubt. And that’s okay. It’s okay to feel doubt, to feel vulnerability, to not always have a chirp in your voice and a smile on your face. God, it is so much work to be positive sometimes—do you feel the same? Even if you’re in the middle of a breakup or wondering how you’re going to pay for car repairs you have to smile and respond “Great!” when someone asks how you’re doing. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? We’ve all heard of toxic masculinity but there is also such a thing as toxic positivity. I know it sounds like a contradiction, but it isn’t. In the United States we have to work so hard to stay afloat, life can be overwhelming, the doubt can seem insurmountable…and on top of that we are supposed to always be upbeat and smiling? This is why people break. Doubt is normal. Doubt is healthy. I feel it, I’m sure you feel it. It’s good to have a system for working through it, but we need to allow ourselves periods of weakness. There are some days I can’t face brainstorming future employment or working on the t shirt business so I don’t; I go out and watch birds. As I said in earlier blogs, I believe in the healing power of nature. Three years ago I was out of work, houseless, and dealing with a divorce; spending time in nature didn’t just get me through it, it transformed me into the person I am today, someone who meets challenges despite the doubt they feel. Embrace your doubt, don’t try to run from it, embrace it, and then remind yourself of a huge challenge you faced in the past and you’ll get back on the right track. Doubt can be a lonely place, like you’re mired in failure and the world is leaving you behind. The thing is, you are not alone. Those people who seem upbeat and doing well they are simply skilled at hiding their struggles, don’t doubt it.