The Importance of Being Idle

I feel the need to be doing something, to be productive; there are always books to write, plans to be made, things to figure out. There is guilt if I’m just sitting around, watching birds or staring at the lake. This is how it is for people living in the United States, we always need to be making something happen. I am more laid back then when I was in the stick and brick world, but I am not good with just relaxing and doing nothing.

There is an importance to being idle, to just sit or even lie around and let your mind drift. We are conditioned to fight such a thing in this country, we are conditioned to see such a lack of activity as laziness, a dangerous lack of motivation. What are you doing with your life? What about right now? Intellectually I understand it is bad for you, why people in this country are so stressed out and on the verge of snapping, but I get caught up in it myself.

I had a hotel night a couple of days ago. This required driving to and through Temecula, a mid sized town northeast of San Diego, California. People were in such a rush they would appear next to the van when I was about to change lanes. I am very chill driving now, I take off from lights slowly, almost never speed; these habits nearly got me run off the road in Temecula. Everywhere I looked in that town people were hurrying—it’s no way to live, rushing from place to place, always feeling like you’re battling the clock while, ironically, running through your remaining hours at such a pace. I watch these people and marvel that I lived like that up to two years ago, May 17, 2020, when I left Portland and began living out of my Honda Odyssey. Out in the middle of nowhere, I slipped into island time, a slower pace of life, a more natural pace, but I still felt the need to be doing something. It is something I work towards, just being idle, letting my mind drift, and not feeling guilty for it.