This Isn't Working For Me

This isn’t working for me, this western world, this culture of just rushing and buying things you don’t need and traffic and beige shopping malls and houses—

This isn’t working for me, laboring at jobs that don’t pay enough for what is required so wealthy corporations can grow even wealthier.

This isn’t working for me, how the companies brag about offering health care but you have to pay fifty or more dollars out of every paycheck to have mediocre health care.

This isn’t working for me, the expectations of where you’re supposed to be at thirty, forty, fifty, sixty—

Buy a house, get a newer car, have a lot of furniture and a big enough TV to watch sports and the latest Marvel movie on. What are your plans for your career track? You’ve gotta save a million by retirement, you know?

This isn’t working for me but I am not going to complain, I am not going to wring my hands and just bitch and moan without doing anything, I have already got one leg out the door and am making changes, leading another life—

I have fuck all, a minivan and enough to live out of that minivan and…you know what?

My life makes more sense than when I owned a house and had a long term career and was building my 401k and my credit rating.

I sleep in WalMart parking lots or truck stops on occasion and piss in a Snapple bottle (when there’s no alternative) and….you know what?

I feel more alive than I have in my entire adult life.

This isn’t working for me, this world of selfies and TikTok videos and oversized houses on tiny lots where if you want to change your front yard someone in khakis comes waving rules and regulations at you—your house, you’re killing yourself to make the mortgage, and you can’t put a fucking gnome in your front yard without someone in khakis ringing the bell and threatning you through a smile.

No, we deserve better. Fuck, is it really so bad having to shit in the woods and live in a van? I don’t think so but maybe that’s just me.

This isn’t working for me so I am not wasting however many years I have left on this “civilization” anymore.

If you feel the same, you’re not alone, there are more of us every day.

I struggled with it, looking at the door, pondering the costs of walking through it, and that’s the jist of my book The American Outback, which you can find here:

https://author.amazon.com/books/editionsMaster?marketplace=ATVPDKIKX0DER&titleset=B08YWY9R37